Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Delete everything...


I've tried several times today to write a post, only to stop after a paragraph or two and to delete what I had written because I was unhappy with it. I turned off the computer each time and retreated to the sofa where I napped all day long in between attempts at writing a post. You all know that sleeping is my way of dealing with emotional upset, so I suppose this is my way of dealing with Jesker's death, which really does bother me in many more ways than even I am consciously aware of. I guess I am in mourning.

I did make it to the tobacco shop and I brought Tyke with me, which was a treat, because it was hurry up and run to the next interesting place and stop suddenly by the succeeding good smelling spot. I had to hit the brakes many times or drag him with me against his will. He does provide recreational entertainment.

And here is where I freeze up and don't know what else to write. A great tiredness falls over me and all I want to do is sleep and it seems like so much effort to keep on writing. So you'll have to excuse me if this is all I write, because I'm not going to delete this also. I'm going to put on my pajamas an bathrobe and pretend it's very late at night.

Ciao...

14 comments:

Breakfast in California said...

Grief is debilitating, as you well know. Hang in there and don't forget to take Tyke out for a walk.

Lane said...

Rest and take it slow. It's early days.

Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Nora. I'm just glad you were able to get this up to let us know how you're doing. Sleeping plenty is fine.

Good to hear that you and Tyke had a run out to the shop. I can just picture your little black hyperactive bundle pulling you along!

Bearfriend xx

Twain12 said...

just take your time ♥

VioletSky said...

Take your time. Let your grief wash over you. You will feel better after a few good cries. I am so glad you have Tyke there to give you new dog walking experiences, but he will never replace Jesker.

Maureen said...

Perfectly normal... you are entitled to mourn the loss; after all Jesker was a huge part of your life. I am so glad you have Tyke to give you much needed breaks from introspection and sadness. Take it easy and take care.

Maggie May said...

If this is the way you are...... then you must give in to it.
No good trying to be someone different to how you are. I am finding that too.
People will understand.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Elaine said...

Sending my love. x

Debi said...

Sleep. It's ok.

Babaloo said...

Sleep is good. Get as much of it as you need.

XXX

Gail said...

Tyke is meeting your need to move and when you need rest, rest. Rest and mourn and heal. We shall be here.

laurie said...

of course you're grieving, irene. i spent six days thinking i was going to vomit after toby died. take it slow. as lane says, it's early.

Wisewebwoman said...

It takes whatever time it takes, dear GSW, just roll with it. Jesker was very dear to your heart and when I grieve I also grieve for all the prior losses, it seems to open up a big barrel of grief.
We are here sitting by your door, not going anywhere but feeling your pain.
XO
WWW

Frances said...

take care of yourself

big hugs
xxx